Arrogant Game Recap: Texas Longhorns

It wasn’t initially the way I wanted it to go. It was ugly and sloppy and at times, maybe even boring. But as the drama of the 4th quarter, OT and OT2 unfolded, I actually fell in love with the game.

Which by the way was a LOSS for Texas.

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So, I am sure their oddly-focused-on-sex trolls will return after their now three-day absence from this blog, but I’m going to go over some thoughts I had. Have a laugh.

The game was only close in score. Texas turned it over 4 times. They gained under 400 yards. With no disrespect to our walk-on kicker who did it when he needed to, the situation with Matt Boermeester, our hero from the Rose Bowl and seasoned kicker, caused us to go for 3 fourth downs you figure we’d have tried kicks on. Maybe some points there.

Our wideouts had a rough day. Again. When they catch the ball, you get Stanford. When they don’t, Texas stays in the game all day. Jalen Greene looked a lot like a QB out there. Hoping for better?

Texas’ band still look like extras from the musical Oklahoma! and I enjoyed the pride they showed in the sheer amount of fringe they fit on them.

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Vince Young was there and I want him to know that growing a beard doesn’t mean you aren’t growing a double-chin. Vince, you were arguably the best college football player I’ve ever seen in person (I may give that to Reggie, but Vince is the only other player in the discussion and if I’m being fair, he may win it). Your greatness is betrayed by your lack of a chin and the beard trying to cover it up. Just hang out with Leinart, get back in shape. Or do some cocaine with McConnaughy.

Also. McConnaughy. The Malibu-resident and 2nd tier luxury vehicle spokesperson looked like he went to central casting to be a fan. While I prefer him to Lance Armstrong, who complained all week that USC “vacated a cheater loss” (NCAA made us vacate all games, sorry dude, google it), McConnaughy was so sweaty from adrenaline and really good, Hollywood grade blow that he shimmered under the Coliseum lights. His perm dripped product that mixed with coke sweat and he looked like he was a BYOS&S – which is of course a Bring Your Own Slip & Slide. Dude could have slide 35 yards greased up like that.

Twitter was a sea of Texas fans arguing they got horrible calls, something hard for USC fans to take after that Rose Bowl. But in truth, it was 10-8 penalties against UT. There was a big yardage discrepancy, but in the end, pretty even. It wouldn’t have been if they called any holding penalties. On 50% of pass rushes, Texas were holding our D Line. I watched the game again, it was pretty ridiculous. But, I wasn’t complaining about it during the game.

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Texas fans also do something no proud program does. When they lost, they demeaned the USC win by essentially saying “they aren’t even that good this year” and selling the idea of a moral victory. Don’t tell USC about moral victories. We didn’t say “at least we won so many games in a row” when we lost the Rose Bowl. We just drank and complained. The only moral victory I count was winning the Pac 12 South during sanctions and forcing a 6-6 UCLA team to lose to Oregon on national TV and be the first team to go to a bowl with a losing record. Moral victory.

USC racked up almost 500 yards. We were bad in the red zone, but we moved the ball at will. The Texas run D was great. The rest was drops. 24 first downs.

We did pretty well for being more banged up than we got credit for. Texas did pretty well for being a worse football team on the road.

But all that is prelude to the big point. Reflecting on the game, my favorite part was how it ended. Texas started to believe. Those fans who said they would lose and this game didn’t matter started to believe. Twitter was feeling Bevo pride.

And then a walk-on kicker ripped their heart out after a last minute drive to tie, a heroic Texas response to USC’s 1 play TD in OT1 and then Texas fumbles at the goal line.

I mean, does this make up for the Rose Bowl? Nope. And apparently that game didn’t happen, but I was there and this didn’t make up for it. But USC has won 13 in a row with a Rose Bowl over now #4 Penn State in the middle. But we’re 5-1* lifetime against them. If that’s a rivalry, it’s a rivalry between the bat and the baseball.

And it gave us more recent (now in HD because the Rose Bowl was a long time ago) images .

Southern California's Chase McGrath, lower right, celebrates with Wyatt Schmidt as Texas defensive back Brandon Jones, left, watches after McGrath kicked a field goal to win the NCAA college football game in overtime, Saturday, Sept. 16, 2017, in Los Angeles. USC won 27-24. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

And it’s a year of wondering what will be. But I’ll make Texas a promise. If Darnold goes pro and so does Ronald Johnson and a ton of players, I’m not going to Austin and telling people we suck or looking for a moral victory.

I’ll be looking to make it 6-1*.

See ya’ll next year and thx for the ribeyes.

4 Comments

Filed under USC Football

4 Responses to Arrogant Game Recap: Texas Longhorns

  1. Jon Jenninguez

    I could pick on you and your mostly delusional commentary some more, bit I’ll leave you alone. Fun game. Seems like USC is just a bit better at tackle football right now. Enjoy.

  2. Rojotoro

    My analysis is that they held a fistfight and a football game broke out.

    Best worst game I’ve ever seen. When it was over my buddy help held up his hand to high five me on the victory but I couldn’t raise my arm. I needed a moment to collect myself.

    Plus, I was curled up on the floor in the fetal position sobbing, tears, that eventually turned to tears of joy. The sort of “joy” you feel after being in a major earthquake where the building you’re in collapses around you but when the dust settles you realize you’re alive and that none of your extremities are pinned under tons of debris.

    Those kind of tears. That kind of joy.

    On the down side I will die one year earlier as a result of that game. On a positive note the bile duct cancer I was culturing if we’d lost is now in remission.

    Sam, I love you, but don’t ever do that to me again. Going forward we’re going to need a safe word.

    “Rosebowl?”

    R.

  3. Madmarkus

    Had to represent in my Arrogant Nation shirt. The UT fans sitting next to me were well behaved young ladies who got loud in the 4th but silent in OT. I told them a win was mandatory but almost meaningless without Vince on the field to humiliate. So happy to find out he was there. Oh and they told me that when Bevo #1 died they BBQd and ate him. I want to believe that so bad.

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