Arrogant Game Preview: Texas

Before I say regrettable things about the Lone Star State, there are things bigger than football. Please donate to the Red Cross to help those trying to deal with Hurricane Harvey. We want to beat Texas on the football field. We want them to raise healthy families. PLEASE DONATE.

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I feel like George Washington in Hamilton singing “One Last Time” right now. There’s a new generation of loudmouth, arrogant and attractive people writing what needs to be written for Arrogant Nation. We discussed it. I did my job. I went out on top.

So this isn’t a return of the Bearfighter (not that I’ve left). This is one night only. I need to have a talk with Bevo’s soon-to-be-tri-tip ass. I need to serenade their band who dresses like the cast of Oklahoma (Boomer! Sooner!).

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Can’t make that shit up.

Look, I need to talk to them about Saturday because. Well. Freight train coming.

USC Trojans running back Ronald Jones II #25 runs the ball in the first half. USC defeated Western Michigan 49-31 at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, CA 9/2/2017 (Photo by John McCoy, Los Angeles Daily News/SCNG)

There is just no way I wasn’t writing an AGP for Texas.

There is no way I’d stay content to play in the great woods of the Pacific Northwest with my new baby daughter — a future Senator, Trojan and USWNT midfielder who loves getting red cards as much as scoring goals. A girl who only will sleep to Creedence being blasted full volume (true story).

I can’t sit this one out because this is Texas.

When my mind goes blank before I fall asleep in my hyperbaric float pool filled with bourbon and a fiber optic ceiling that simulates the night sky, Texas pops in my mind.

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Their burnt orange (which sounds more like a culinary fuck up than a color) cow helmets and their white uniforms that make them look like creamsicles. Vince Young and the confetti. The greatest college football game of all time we should have won, but didn’t.

Unlike the Longhorns, we weren’t named after steak. We were named after a famous army that lost but fought like hell. Our reaction to loss is in our DNA. We never want to do much of it. That’s why come hell or high water, we don’t stay down for long. There’s a lot of long stretches USC was on top. We’re there again.

But, credit to you Texas Fightin’ Ribeyes. You hurt us that night in Pasadena, in our home-away-from-home. We’ve been patient. We’ve had to live with this. It hurt big time and Trojans never forgot it.

Now, we’re gonna mess with Texas.

Oh my Lord’s name in vain, Texas. I have waited to play you since I walked through your caravan of RVs out of the Rose Bowl that horrible night. I wondered why Reggie tried to lateral and why the refs didn’t see it was a forward lateral. I wondered how no one saw Vince Young’s knee was down. I wondered how we blew a lead. I wondered why Lendale couldn’t pick up 2 yards (I love you, Lendale. Forever.)

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Yeah. I remember that, Texas. I see it when I close my eyes. When I had cancer surgery I thought about it. When I go running and I’m dog tired and want to stop, I picture Vince Young in the confetti shitting on our three-peat and I run another mile and then another while blasting our fight song.

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LOOK AT THE PICTURE, TROJANS.

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That’s Achilles celebrating on our dead city. Credit to him. To them. But it’s time to found Rome now and I’m suggesting we do it on top of a Bevo burial ground.

Let’s reset the table.

Back to that Rose Bowl night. I took the lumps the Longhorns fans dished out as I walked back to my car through their caravan of RVs and in my mind, at that moment, Texas was a powerhouse. It NEVER OCCURRED TO ME THEY NEVER WERE OR WERE AGAIN A POWERHOUSE.

They aren’t USC. They aren’t Bama. They’re not Notre Dame. Or Ohio State or Michigan.

They’re closest approximation is maybe, Miami? Except Miami made a cultural impact. Miami changed the game in the 80s and 90s and put 5 titles we all saw on TV.

Vince Young was so, so, so good in 2004 and 2005 that Texas was always a powerhouse in my mind.

They weren’t.

It never occurred to me in that time before iPhones existed that Texas basically has a .500 bowl record.

Texas had a dominant period. Just after we passed the Civil Rights Act. Yeah. It was a long time ago. The newspaper was like “Big win for people who hate racism and in other news Texas won a title.”

Like, the last time Texas was winning titles before Vince Young was when football teams were white dudes wearing the kind of helmets they serve ice cream out of at Dodger games.

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Like, this is what a title team looked like in Texas’ golden era.

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It never occurred to me that our loss was the best thing that ever happened to that program — and probably ever will. It never occurred to me the worst loss we’ve ever experienced came from the kid brother team in their rivalry. I always thought Texas was better that OU, but behavioral economics would call that confirmation bias.

I believed that because we kicked Oklahoma’s ass the year before and Texas beat us in a classic the following year. My mind constructed a story that Texas football was dominant. Oklahoma’s won more titles, had more Heismans. It’s like Texas is the UCLA in their rivalry with OU’s USC.

AND TEXAS’ WORST LOSS OF ALL TIME IS 66-3 TO UCLA IN 1997!

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Illuminati.

I honestly never did the math. I was a recent grad. MySpace still was a thing. Facebook didn’t have a feed. Research was limited. So, Texas, I gave you too much credit because you ripped my heart out.

I didn’t realize Texas will probably build a statue for everyone involved in that Rose Bowl. If we built statues for our Nat’l Title winners, we’d have to buy more land around the Coliseum. It’d look like the fucking terracotta army in China.

China's great terracotta army is seen from the side facing rising sun.

I shit you not, when you go to Austin Bergstrom airport on your way to drink Shiner and pretend you give a flying fuck about Franklin BBQ, the airport gift shop IS PLAYING THE GAME ON REPEAT – not in HD because the game happened when Keith Jackson still called games. Still only good Texas memory.

It is like having a picture of a hot ex girlfriend in your house and your whole family being OK with it because it’s the best achievement Dad managed. If I walked into LAX and saw them playing video from any of our championships, I’d smash the TV with an un-purchased Clippers pint glass or maybe a lonely UCLA replica football no one wants to be seen throwing.

You can only act like you’ve been there before if you have. And not your grandpappy in 1969. You.

I wanted a rematch in that game. I wanted one more shot at them.

I got excited when Nick Young and our largely faceless basketball team knocked the KEVIN DURANT-led Longhorns out of the NCAA tournament in the spring, but honestly, it wasn’t the same. Basketball is something we do when football ends. And there’s no good movies out.

Texas Kevin Durant against USC Southern California Gabe Pruitt (34) during the second round of the NCAA Tournament in Spokane, Wash., on March 18, 2007. Texas won 79-67. MANDATORY CREDIT: (Jay Drowns/Sporting News) DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPH

I don’t believe for a second that game mattered just like honest Longhorn fans don’t think their program is on par with USC’s. That’s why their crowning jewel win over us and the fact we all are still upset is such a treasure for them.

And we never got another shot.

Sanctions. Kiffin. This blog. Abandoning of blog. Sark. Sark drunk. Sark drunk more. Kiffin and Sark at Bama. Bama kills us. Darnold and Juju (on that beat) and Adoree and Cam. Winning of Rose Bowl. PSU covers up child abuse. We clock Stanford.

And I’m sitting here on a Tuesday going “are we really about to get on a field with these guys who are probably in McMansions watching replays of that Rose Bowl the way Ted Cruz is watching porn on Twitter?

Fun fact. TEXAS ELECTED TED CRUZ.

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My heart is torn. I wanted to play Mack Brown who whined his way into that Rose Bowl over the Aaron Rodgers’ led Cal team who had a better loss than they did. Mack Brown who is why American politics is the way it is right now. Mack Brown who caused global warning spitting so much hot air about a program that was garbage before and was garbage again.

The biggest compliment I can give Texas is that they are my only ghost. I don’t care that Bama smacked us last year. We’ll smack Bama back one day. Bama has famous losses to us too (Sam Bam Cunningham dismantling them was what it took for Bear Bryant to convince the racist ass Bama community to integrate their football team). Bama and USC will always be here.

Texas is playing a game from 2006 in gift shop at the airport on repeat because that was their high water mark.

And that same game is on our mind. Because even though we climbed the mountain again, I just want to cause that fan base some friendly pain. I want them to retreat to 6th Street or Red River or South Congress and drink their beers with shoulders slumped knowing that win was an anomaly. Something to be enjoyed. Something a Disney movie would be written about.

Not the norm.

For Trojans, they are the ghost of shitty hangovers on the 134 heading back to Toluca Lake for what became a night of Hunter S. Thompsonian binging in North Hollywood where I am pretty sure I ran out on the tab at Tokyo Delves and that was to START the binge. I may have killed a rat that night and threw it into a bowl of albondigas at Don Cuco. No one can be sure. I may have urinated on Bob’s Big Boy in front of a family.

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Texas, you got my attention and every priority in my life has changed except waiting for the one day I could watch us kick your ass up and down the gridiron. My god. That is the highest praise I can give another team. So you have my respect. If we lose on Saturday, you don’t need to gloat.

I’LL BE MISERABLE. FOR REAL. I’LL MARCH INTO FOREST PARK AND START ATTACKING WOODLAND CREATURES.

I could talk about Texas’ Tom Herman or that I actually like Austin but I’m not going to.

I’m going to talk about how NONE OF YOU OLDER TROJANS GET TO SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT MILLENNIALS AFTER THEY SOLVE THIS PROBLEM FOR US AND SET HISTORY RIGHT.

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If our millennial and Gen Z football team wins this one for us Xennials or Gen Y’s — you will wear millennial pink and take pictures against distressed brick walls in Brooklyn and praise them and give them raises. You will find the next 20-something eating avocado toast and buy it for them. You will go into Sun Life Organics and just be like “A ROUND OF WOLVERINES ON ME.”

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If we win, find this girl who had to take a stock photo acting gig because Boomers fucked her economy and hire her, get her healthcare and give her career mentorship.

We need you guys. We love the selfies. We love the entitlement. We love you.

Only Millennials can rid us of the bad taste in our mouth from Texas.

South Bend Tribune/JAMES BROSHER USC cornerback Nickell Robey (21) gets his team pumped up in the tunnel before they take the field for an NCAA college football game on Saturday, Nov. 24, 2012, at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum.

So, my plea to this year’s team that’s already brought us so much joy:

Trojan football players. You may not know me. But Matt Barkley did. The sanctions teams did. We kept the torch lit. We suffered and tried to keep it fun. And you have brought us back to Rose Bowl winners. This is our hug it out moment. Thank you. You guys are great.

We couldn’t stop Texas. If you can hang 75 on them on Saturday, it would mean a lot to me. It would mean a lot to everyone. Give them their worst loss in history. When you lay the wood in that game, you have a generation of fans behind you. There’s no playing it cool here. We’re thirsty when it comes to Texas. A loss is inconceivable.

It was cute we vacated our loss as a troll. But the way to troll Texas is beat them so hard they fire Tom Herman on the tarmac. Beat them so hard Sark starts drinking again. Beat them so hard Kiffin tweets about it. Beat them so hard Pete Carroll sheds a tear. Beat them so hard Jake Olson gets three long snaps.

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You probably haven’t experienced a crowd like this one will be. You were kids when the wound was opened. Let’s open one back.

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I’ll have a big angus, ribeye ready to drop on the grill. So will Arrogant Nation. Saturday can be a national holiday for alumni. It may not be our toughest test. It may not be a conference game.

It’s bigger. This is a culture game. Impose some of our on them Saturday and don’t let up. This is our personal Rose Bowl. If you need me, I’ll be drinking at breakfast until you make this right.

87 Comments

Filed under USC Football

87 Responses to Arrogant Game Preview: Texas

  1. JM

    Good to see you are back, even if just this one time. Those of us who followed your blog through the Carroll/post-Carroll era and the sanctions needed to be reminded how losing the Voldemort of a football games felt, and there is no better person who could have put that in perspective than you. FTFO Bearfighter.

    • Sam

      Your mascot is named after a condom.

      • Bearfighter

        i mean, the condom and our team are named after an army that lasted a long time. i’m okay with it.

      • HeliGeorge

        I love how people think sharing a name with a condom brand is a bad thing…

        but if you will allow me, note that the condom brand is never referred to as “Trojans” because that is trademarked, by the University of Southern California, before the Trojan condoms existed. Additionally, there is a flavor of their line called Trojan-ENZ, cute way to get around the plural, which is trademarked by USC. Also, you will never see the Trojan name, in reference to the condom, without its less popular friend, “brand”, as in Trojan Brand. #history #facts

        Oh yeah, since we talking about nicknames, UT’s is named after a cow…

        USC +1

      • Anarchitect

        Yours is named after dinner, Sam.

        Also, we integrated football in your whole damn state back in 1956.

        A whole 14 years before your own damn team integrated, bubba.

        http://articles.latimes.com/2006/jan/02/sports/sp-roberts2

  2. Elizabeth Werhel

    Ouch, pulling off the bandage hurts. Get us this win and make it all better. Fight On!

  3. V. A. Quintana

    Mr. Bearfighter,

    I pray I’m a smidgen the writer you are, for I shall be just fine.

    Thank you for your words that describe how we all feel.

    Fight On!

  4. George Gier

    You are way too good to cap the pen. Keep up the BLOG. SC needs your voice.

  5. You writing reminds me of the purple prose produced by irate, amateur YELP
    restaurant reviewers – witty to few, except themselves. Every major football fan base has one, no more if their fortunate.
    So, keep pumping out the hymns for the USC faithful choir to sing along with.

    USC v. Texas record: 4-0 Laughing my fking ass off

  6. WS

    Welcome Home Bearfighter!

    So right on all accounts. After the game Saturday, 4th and 2 will be permanently erased from my mind to be replaced by 62-21, USC! FTFO!

  7. Will Angst

    Well written. It appears we are still living rent free in your collective psyche. No matter the result Saturday that victory will stand as the standard bearer for our rivalry. Two teams, at the height of their powers, for all the marbles. We will be there Saturday, and we will be cocky and we will remind you who won that game, The Important Game, regardless of the latest result. I have a feeling it will still hit home. This game will perhaps be a salve, but it won’t make the hurt go away for good.

    His will be fun for both sides, and we look forward to being there.

    Hook ‘Em!

    • Bearfighter

      I like this take. In fact, it’s super smart. But as arrogant Trojans, if we win, especially big, it will just confirm the statistical anomaly that game was, we’ll reflect on our almost .700 bowl winning percentage, 11 national titles and 25 rose bowl wins.

      but for real, I like this take. go for it. and no, nothing makes the hurt go away. but we can remind you how little business you had winning that game and how long it will be, if ever, before you win another.

      good luck, it will be a great home and home and i have deep respect for both programs for taking a tough game. strap the pads on, let’s see what happens amigo. cheers.

  8. Greg Fenves

    Texas returned to the BCS Championship game in 2009 and would have won if Colt McCoy hadn’t been injured on the first drive of the game. When was the last time U$C played in the BCS National Championship game?

    Also, I can’t seem to find U$C in the Top 5 or even the Top 10 of the all-time winningest programs in college football history? That must be an error, right?
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NCAA_football_teams_by_wins

    • Bearfighter

      Colt McCoy did get hurt. And we never heard from Texas again. We won the Rose Bowl last year.

      The list you provided is literally total wins. Yale is 3rd on it. Pretty silly metric for best team. A list without Bama on top is hard to believe.

      Check out Bowl wins or bowl record. Or national titles. Or heismans. I’m bored.

      • Greg Fenves

        Nice deflection. Thanks for confirming that Texas has more wins and more recently played again for the National Championship. The only people who give a rat’s ass about a non-BCS Championship Rose Bowl win are…U$C fans….sorry that you’re whole “didn’t deserve to be there and haven’t since” stance doesn’t hold water. Oh and sorry that your dirty program couldn’t beat Texas and went down in a flame of embarrassment. Good luck in this meaningless game. Texas has nothing to lose, but a U$C loss would be completely devastating for this fan base that is desperate to relive those days of cheating their way to the top.

        • Bearfighter

          That was a long response.

        • DFW Trojan

          I love UT’s unending “holier than thou” mentality, especially when it comes to recruiting. While complete bullsh, it certainly makes the indefinite mediocrity easier to swallow. And let’s not act like winning the Rose Bowl in any year isn’t a big deal. If you hadn’t won in 2006, you’d still be going on about the win in 2005…

          Good luck to you as well in this meaningless game–in your whole meaningless season, in fact.

        • TroJen

          Just thought I’d point out that the BCS Championship doesn’t exist anymore, but it makes sense you would think it still does since you’re so knowledgeable about college football that you think Yale is a better football program than yours.

          Enjoy the loss in beautiful LA, then go back to your business of suppressing voter rights or not believing in science or whatever else people do in Tex-ass.

      • Jon Leake

        Wow. Such narrow vision. When discussing the “best programs of all time” one should try to find some way to make the conversation more current. Yale may have a lot of victories,but counting those wins from the pre 1900 seasons really doesn’t say much about the modern game. Perhaps the best metric might be the AP polls from their inception. You will find Oklahoma at or very near the top. Or we might use the most 10 win seasons line to see who fits where. Again it’ll be Oklahoma and to be honest, Alabama neck and neck. Or even just most wins all time where it again is Oklahoma and Alabama. Yes, you beat Oklahoma in 2005, with a team full of ineligible players that you spent time on probation for. So those two Natty’s are just a tad bit tainted don’t you think? Well anyway, have fun roasting those whorns this weekend. Please keep winning. We’ll try to do the same. Perhaps in the Playoffs this year, we can play in the Rose Bowl for a shot at the title. Personally, I’d like that. BOOMER!

  9. djw314

    LOL. The Rose Bowl was a nice consolation prize but until you play in a MNC you aren’t back. As a Texas fan I fully expect you guys to annihilate us this weekend. The two teams are just on a different plane at this point. We expect Herman to do good things and hope to be back in the hunt in a couple of years. Have fun with this non-conference win but we already know that deep in your subconscious it will never erase that 2006 loss and nothing ever will. We just had the better team and at this point its not debatable. The OP acts like USC championships prior to Carroll’s cheating championship years were some kind of recent history but in reality they were inside of a decade of Texas’ and on top of that you have been mostly irrelevant since Carroll left. Good job on heading back in the right direction and I hope we see you again in the near future when it really counts.

  10. Hookem

    Texas underachieves because we don’t cheat. End of story.

    • Bearfighter

      Define the cheating. I ask because people who say that end up telling the story of a player’s parents taking money from an agent and the school not knowing and speaking about it as if the program was handing out duffle bags of cash in the locker room.

      • Hookem

        I’m not really referring to anything in relation to USC.

        Geographically, Texas is situated very near some of the biggest offenders in CFB history and we have been in direct competition for the elite in-state recruits with the dirtiest programs in the country for most of our history. OU gets caught about once a decade. LSU is so good at it that they never get caught (this is largely because of the culture of South Louisiana; corruption is the norm). We had to deal with SMU and A&M in their cheating heyday. These are our rivals and our direct competition for recruits. I’m sure we have plenty of $100 handshakes, etc., but we have never taken a sophisticated approach to cheating like OU and our friends in the SEC have.

        USC is an amazing school with a rich athletics tradition. The fact that you don’t have much competition from your geographic neighbors has helped a lot. If a recruit’s family can drive to Austin, they can also drive to OU and LSU. It is more difficult for us, but we have certainly underachieved. USC has no other traditionally great programs anywhere nearby, and they are in one of the most talent rich areas for recruiting. All of that said, USC has done a better job than Texas has at running a football program.

        • Bearfighter

          that is a very fair assessment of texas recruiting struggle. big 12 and SEC recruiting is super, super dirty. all that made me think mack shook a lot of hands too. the whole game is messy and dirty, like good bbq.

          and you are right. LA one of the 3 or 4 best places to recruit and the bay area is another. USC is a first choice with little competition for kids who want to stay close to home.

        • TomR

          Im sure Texas didn’t have to cheat all that hard to be good after Cold McCoy and Vince Young left……..since their departure, the QB position at UT has been abysmal.

          Since Colt McCoy left, the state of Texas has produced QBs like Andrew Luck, RGIII, Andy Dalton, Bryce Petty, Trevon Boykin,….and even Johnny “Football” Manzeil…..most of these Texas QB’s would have jumped at an offer from UT, and would have probably carried Texas to another 2 or 3 wins each season. Each was far better and more successful than any Texas QB during the last decade.

          I might suggest that lack of cheating isn’t the problem, poor recruiting and player development is.

  11. JCA

    You have to do it when it counts or STFU. When the championship is on the line. When it matters.

    I have little doubt USC will win on Saturday. If they don’t, you should hang your collective heads in shame. Texas is struggling right now. But beating a struggling team with nothing on the line hardly erases getting your butt kicked in your house when everything was on the line.

  12. Tex

    go ahead and beat us in some non-conference game.

    go ahead with your alternative facts.

    seeing you all so butt hurt makes this all that much sweeter.

    i hope your anger blinds you all this weekend and you get stampeded in that dilapidated coliseum of yours.

    and don’t flatter yourself that our “crowning jewel” was beating you. our crowning jewel was being national champions.. you were just a rock on the road.

    hook em!! \m/

  13. Dillon Sun

    HAHAHAH Holy Shit. This just made my day and I literally just woke up to this. I’m a freshman and still relatively new to Trojan football, but I’ve been going to all the games with my alumni sibling and learning the names and history of our great culture.
    You, sir, are a legend. This is well-written, inspirational, comedic, and informational. Damn, my legs are knee-deep in some Texas/USC history.
    I especially loved the part about the gift shop, their national championship stature, and their golden era roast.
    I hear you’re very well-known, so i guess I better be doing some homework through your old blogs.

    Cheers and Fight On!
    USC ’21

  14. David Thomas

    There’s a reason why Austin is full of Angelinos and not vice versa.

    There’s a reason why Texas is a one word school- and you are a football school with a well known film/arts program, or to most of the country as, that other LA university that’s more expensive but easier to get into than UCLA.

    You are the Oklahoma, of California, who needs athletics and will do anything to win, rules be damned, to get there.

    We are a flagship academic university known for its research and its graduates- we seek to emulate Stanford, whereas you seek to win a football game against Stanford.

    There’s a reason why losing to us hurts much more than losing to an Alabama or Oregon- it’s because you lost to a school and a program whose athletics are the icing on our cake- and not just your ‘cake.’

    It’s why, as another posted mentioned, we’ve been living rent free in your head for over a decade.

    Enjoy your meaningless win as we rebuild, we’ll be back on track shortly. Try not to get caught cheating again so we can meet once again in a bowl game.

    • Bearfighter

      This is the dumbest thing I’ve read yet. I’m literally going to post this.

      • David Thomas

        By the way- your recent peak in the early 0’s wasn’t even close to a three-peat. LSU still has their trophy.

        Shouldn’t a dynasty win more than one in a row? (I know, more dumb things for you to read!)

        • Bearfighter

          NCAA, who hates us, lists a split title on their website. We still have our trophy. And we lost to you so it wasn’t a dynasty. We fell short of the 3 peat. So, not claiming it.

        • FEBU

          You mean that trash championship where LSU beat OU, and USC would’ve handled either easily? That one? AP got it right that year after USC stomped Michigan in the Rose Bowl.

          • Bearfighter

            The NCAA still lists both on their site as champions. And they sanctioned us. To that, they also vacated our loss to Texas (which is dumb because we lost, I was there) because the NCAA is stupid. It’s just false USC trolled Texas by vacating. That was an NCAA mandate. Tessalone on record w it. I’ll say a lot about Texas, but not that we won that game.

  15. McConaughey

    As you know, I’m a Longhorn and UT professor, but thoroughly enjoyed the read–well done.

    “When my mind goes blank before I fall asleep in my hyperbaric float pool filled with bourbon and a fiber optic ceiling that simulates the night sky, Texas pops in my mind.” —so underrated…this conjures up memories of the old “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer” sketches on SNL.

    Hook ’em,
    Matthew

  16. Sorry Trojans. Even if we lose Saturday the loss in THE game that prevented a 3-peat will continue to haunt you forever until we meet in a championship game. OOC game? Meh. Wish I could say “get over it”, but that’s impossible. Hook “Em Horns.

  17. I see we Longhorns have been living rent free in your head for over decade. Unfortunately, that trend will continue. And for the record, your team is named after a condom.

    Here is what’s going down on Saturday;

    1. Gary Johnson (#33 in white) is going to dough pop Golden Boy Darnold into an alternate universe. Expect Darnold to throw at least 3 picks.
    2. We are going to pound that rock and bleed that clock.
    3. Chris Warren III will be a household name on Sunday morning.
    4. Texas 35 USC 34….and you can’t vacate this one.

    So go sip some Chardonnay and nibble on some sushi. Your daddy is coming to town and Saturday night will not go well for you.

    P.S.

    If you should have won, you would have. Stop with the lame ass hyperbole.

  18. Ron in Utah

    We certainly missed you as there have been many worthy ants to step on since March.

  19. Pretty good post. There are only a handful of programs that can throw this type of shade at Texas, and USC is one of them. As a Horns fan, I can say that it’s pretty frustrating to have athletics not be a high level priority for the powers that be. Winning on the athletic field falls well below a lot of other items on the UT agenda.

    We are coming into this game without much pressure, so looking forward to our team playing fast and loose. Come the 4th quarter, if it’s close, it won’t be Texas tightening up.

    Hook em’!

    • Bearfighter

      you guys could easily win this game. the shade i’d really throw is that academically, texas takes 39% of applicants to usc’s 16.5%. texas is a good school, but at least the last 12-15 years or so usc hovers around the 20-25 mark in rank along w michigan, ucla and berkeley. texas tends to be in the 50 range.

      either way, good luck.

      • Hookem

        Academic smack talk is weak and boring

      • cashflo

        I wasn’t specifically referring to acedemics as one of the higher priorities. There are a ton of weird political things that go on here that really hamper us athletically. The admission % is not a great stat. UT is required by state law to admit anyone who is in the top 7% of their highschool class. As a private institution, USC has a bit more flexibility.

  20. Martin C Bean

    Gents,
    This is my first Bearfighter experience.

    I just wet myself laughing. Which is untimely as I’m a grad of the USC School of Medicine (yes, our ex-dean smokes crack), and I have an office full of folks who will wonder why my eyes are red and moist(laughter), and my pants are soaked with urine(result of vigorous laughter and 50 birthdays).

    Fight On! Beat the horns!
    Please keep it going Bearfighter

  21. Happy Trails

    As a native Texan who was raised in SoCal, but ultimately returned to his roots for a degree from the great state of Texas, I can appreciate your self-deprecation as an “arrogant dickhead.” Because you are, but it’s just a soft dickhead. Californians pay half-attention to anything, yet think they know everything. So you’re really just out of touch from reality. Hence why the pain hit so hard for you when you failed to see that gigantic victory train of culinary delights leaving Austin and heading down I-10 in ’05…only then to self-anoint yourselves as the “greatest team of all-time,” and fall back to reality when the real Greatest Team of All Time kicked your spoiled asses.
    But now here we are in ’17, and you’ve pulled the gates closed on our Baby Bevo to protect your safe space you call a “Coliseum.” You’ve written #fakenews stories about a vacated loss and a knee that didn’t touch down, and once again your soft dickhead range of excuses and obsession with the win that didn’t happen is just sad! Maybe you should write a book about it and call it, “What Happened.”

    • Bearfighter

      Dude, you were one “cuck” short of winning the alt-right comment section participation award. Thanks for talking about my “soft dickhead” more than once in two paragraphs. What did they do to you in California? Who hurt you? This got weird real quick.

      • Happy Trails

        “Bro,” you’re the one who called it a “culture game” in the last lines of your long-winded blog. Excuse me for hitting hard back with some pointed responses to your call outs, I thought triggered was just the name of your pony. After all, it’s you and your school’s actions that I’m referring to, but I suppose only you may deprecate. It’s all in good fun Trojan, don’t get so sensitive now, the game hasn’t even started and you’re already getting testy about the results. I suppose I did my job. Hook em. Keep fighting.

  22. Quincy

    Quincy is sad to see USC has been reduced to this. Some likely fat body sitting in his mom’s “basement” (prolly condo guest room) acting as if his whiny little diatribe can set the table for redemption against us.

    Listen you fat pussy, your program is forever cucked by the events of that fateful night. You were declared the greatest team of all time. Your pan flash rb won a media popularity contest. Your program was embarrassed forever.

    Quincy was there. Quincy saw the stupid shit your coaching staff pulled. Quincy saw y’all piss your pants on multiple key plays. Quincy saw when y’all had a chance to put the game away but you couldn’t.

    And Quincy saw Vincent Paul Young Jr. stroll into your end zone untouched. Posterizing you forever. Dunking right in your soft ass west coast face.

    Just try to crank your little peen to this matchup. We are in a down cycle and you are in an up cycle. Congrats. Enjoy your future #1 draftee going up against a kid that doesn’t even have a full year behind him since he was nervous to ask a date to senior prom.

    Quincy laughs at the idea that this meaningless game could ever square us for that evening at the rose bowl. You don’t get to shed that shame, that unearned hype. We hit you in the mouth and made you our eternal history book bitch.

    Just don’t piss your pants again. Quincy can smell the fear that it might happen with this whiny bitchmade blog.

  23. Michael Griffin

    As a Texas grad who was at the Rose Bowl in 2006 (as well as the previous year against Michigan), after reading your long-winded attempt at convincing yourself that you will ever get over that night, I pretty much feel like those Bobby Petrino memes that read “Don’t care. Had sex.”

    That game was incredible, and the best part was the sheer disbelief from the USC fans, yourself included I imagine, that Texas won. Much like the Ohio State fans earlier in the year (at night, in the ‘shoe) it was simply inconceivable to you that Texas could win the game. But the fact is, Texas was the better team. A team that won conference games by an average margin of victory of 35 points, IIRC. You can tell yourself that USC “should” have won (ala Matt Leinhart’s post-game comment that USC was still the better team), but the fact is that Texas team was one of the greatest, if not the greatest, of all time, and they were better than USC that year and that night.

    We can debate all-time national championships if you like, and I could point out that Texas doesn’t count all of the mythical NC’s awarded by some publications that many other programs do, but at the end of the day: “Don’t care. Had sex.”

    • Bearfighter

      omg. you are a playwright aren’t you. you just google’d football, right? wasn’t the end of gone with the wind shocking? i know, right.

      • Michael Griffin

        Don’t care. Had sex. And you’ll never get over it no matter how many poorly-written sentences you vomit into the internet. Deal with it.

        • Hill Billy Invasion

          It’s weird how all these UT fans say they “kicked USC’s ass” etc etc. I mean they won and it was a good game but come on the score was 41 to 38 and scored in the last several seconds.

          Also, what’s up with all the gay innuendo from a bunch of the UT posters? Come out of the closet already.

          • Bearfighter

            Yeah. I don’t get the weird homophobic thing. Ducks and Cardinal fans can get nasty. Never seen a team be this oddly sexual in comments.

          • Michael Griffin

            Reading comprehension isn’t your strong suit, eh? The “don’t care/had sex” meme has nothing to do with “gay innuendo.” It basically means “I had an incredible experience so nothing you say is going to get me down.”

            Carry on.

          • Bearfighter

            Aware of meme. Other commenters here and on Twitter making the point. Dude. You’re good. Don’t worry.

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