And Our Hibernation Ends Again

Enjoy this moment, Troy. Really. Enjoy it. Stick around, I’ll remind you why.

As a freshman some terrifying 13 years ago (fuuuck), I remember going 6-6 and losing by a total of less than 30 points. I remember thinking we might be good. That we might have some good years.

I remember my sophomore year meeting Pete Carroll on the Row. I asked him how we looked. He sounded the same way he sounded when he won the Super Bowl. Like Uncle Pete. I remember thinking that I’d love to play for a guy like that. I remember wondering if he was right.

I remember taking a piss at the Orange Bowl after Iowa ran back the kickoff for a touchdown. I remember the overweight Iowa fan who made some mention of So Cal plus some vaguely homophobic slur. I remember telling him to meet me at half-time because it was going to get pretty shitty. Storm’s coming, homeboy.

I remember by the time I was back at my seat, we were figuring out new ways to embarrass the weak ass Big Ten. The dude never met me back at the bathroom. I assumed he had left early with the rest of the Hawkeyes.

I remember most of my time since then was realizing how bad the Big Ten is, at least where Troy is concerned. Penn State. Whack.

Michigan. Hail to the victors must be a song about us.

Illinois, oh yeah we played you too. Kinda forget for a second. JUICE WILLIAMS!

Ohio State, it was close at the Horseshoe when our quarterback was a freshman. It was embarrassing when you came to visit.

I’m probably forgetting a Big Ten team. Probably because they are mostly forgettable teams.

I remember spanking top ranked Auburn on the road. I remember spanking Oklahoma. I remember spanking Arkansas worse than any team every spanked them in their stadium a year after spanking them harder than any team ever spanked them in history. I remember that Arkansas team won their division in the SEC, don’t let them tell you that team with Run DMC was weak.

And then I remember the flood. The deluge of total and utter bullshit around sanctions. The shit we thought wouldn’t stick because the evidence pointed to a hard-to-prove infraction and then suddenly the punishment was indicative of far worse. A seemingly “failure to monitor” type penalty went full blown “lack of institutional control” and we got slapped with a hard backhand.


I remember wondering how the now dead guy from Miami made the ruling and didn’t live to see his school barely wrist-slapped for buying drugs, hookers and abortions for their players.

I also remember all the articles of our demise. I remember that even with four coaches, 30 less players and a nation of haters, we won ten games two times. Most our conference wish they won ten games two times in the last thirty years.

UCLA went 29-24 since we got sanctioned. USC went 35-17. Where was the structure fire? There’s been a few bumps, namely a couple losses to UCLA that in a way are great because it’s been a long time since I gave a shit about playing them. For all their hype, we still put them in a position to take a sloppy seconds trip to the Pac-12 Title Game and after they lost, enjoyed them petitioning the NCAA to give them a bowl berth despite being 6-7 only to lose the bowl game and finish 6-8, the worst team ever to play in a bowl. UCLA is the gift that keeps on giving. Can’t wait to see how they handle the pressure of people not thinking they suck.

I mean, for all the images of Matt Barkley getting knocked out of a game on a blindside sack, I pretty much can’t get past the 50-0 game that happened. A couple wins doesn’t erase that. Just like the John David Booty loss to UCLA was such a point of pride, but history forgets in a month we just came back and won another Rose Bowl in their stadium. Well, it’s kind of our stadium. Our oddly located one.

But let’s talk about what happened here during sanctions, our making lemonade out of lemons and pouring vodka into it. Well, bourbon for me, but you know…

I remember coming into prominence. I remember this stupid blog becoming a t-shirt empire. I remember hosting two pep rallies at Galen. I remember the high fives at the Coli, the shouts of “BEARFIGHTER” and the shots of bourbon offered by fellow Trojans.

They never did sanction the endzone. If a 7-5 record is sanctioning the endzone, Colorado should be excommunicated from having a football team.

In a time where UCLA ran no less than three ads proclaiming we were dead, we dealt them their worst defeat since electric lightbulbs and frankly had a better record then them in each year we were sanctioned or on probation. Sure, they have gotten back into the fray and I am for that.

But let’s keep it realer than a fart in an elevator. If UCLA had gotten sanctioned in the same manner, you think they’d go 35-17? I think they’d have had between 35 and 17 people showing up to watch them lose.

The sanctions are over, but we’ll still be short scholarships for now. And that’s fine. It’s fine because UCLA is getting a brief moment in the sun and using it to unveil new uniforms called “LA Steel.” They are draining the ocean from their basketball gym and they get their shot. They earned it, I guess?

Now we have Sark. That was Pete’s guy. The guy Mike Garrett cock-blocked while he was making things worse with the NCAA (even though they never had a real case and pretty soon those files will be unsealed, FEELS GREAT CAN’T WAIT). He’s upgrading the offense. He’s recruiting like an animal. We don’t have distractions in Kiffin, sanctions or frankly, Coach O. We’re just gonna play football and that’s pretty fun.

We get to enjoy revving up the war machine again. When you are on top for a decade, you let it get stale. You all read this, you all made me a cult figure at my college because it was pretty crazy how hard the NCAA came for us. But, four years later, who would you rather bet on? USC or the NCAA.

Hate to break it to you, but we pretty much won. Yeah, they need to bleed out. Yeah, they need to make changes and call them progress. Whatever. You hit like a toddler, NCAA. You barely bruised the apple.

The NCAA is so soft they literally acknowledge the championship we “gave up.” Why? Because they list co-champs all over their own website and since the AP never took our title away, it never got taken away. The people who took our title away literally acknowledge they were unable to take our title away.


So, here’s what’s going to happen as we climb back to prominence some time in the next five years, as we have in just about every decade since we created football (and don’t say the 1990s were hell, we won a Rose Bowl and that’s more than basically our whole conference has done ever).

We’re going to get our depth back.

There was a time where we’d offer full rides to players we didn’t necessarily want, but our rivals did. Mainly this was just to fuck them over. With no limits on offers again, this has started again. It is a vicious cycle for the Oregons and UCLAs and ASUs and Stanfords. We can offer to players we need less than they do and elite high school guys want to prove they can do it. Deep down, they know who puts the most players in the NFL (facts!) and how little our conference wins anything outside of Troy.

I mean, the last time anyone in our conference won a national title that wasn’t USC was in 1991. I was 9. I had never been to California before.

We’re the only relevant conversation in west coast football and while living in Portland has softened me to the Ducks, it’s also exposed me to the mentality of expecting the wheels to come off. You walk around Portland the day after the Ducks lose, it’s not anger. It’s not shock. It’s a feeling of “I saw this coming” and I had to move here to understand. How depressing is that!

That’s why Arrogant Nation is still better than bacon (kind of). It’s not just that we’re on top the most. It’s the fact we’re good at being on top when we’re there. And everyone knows when we aren’t on top, we’ll just get back there again. It isn’t fair. Blame the NCAA for that. They sure did their best to slow us down for a hot minute to the tune of 35-17. #rough

Enjoy right now.

Enjoy right now because we’re far from back, but we’re only heading that direction again. Anyone who tells you otherwise is ignoring a century-long pattern of taking breaks between winning. This time, our break was a bunch of winning seasons that the world considered failures. 35-17. MUCH LOSSES. SO FAILURE.

We’re almost through it.

Doesn’t matter what happens this year. It’s that we’re going to have a lot of fun soon. I won’t be convinced otherwise and neither will you.

I know how the story ends.

Happy fall returning.

Happy footballing.

Happy ups and downs.

In the end, we’re going to be on top again.


I’m just excited to go for the ride. You guys can be my DD.





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27 Responses to And Our Hibernation Ends Again

  1. Louis Pappas

    Superb as always…FTFO!!! Keep the Bourbon flowing.

  2. drew davidson

    God I love Trojan Football, and Fall, and being able to wear only 30 SPF because the sun is a little lower on the horizon, and the waves being a little less crowded. Can’t wait for Game Day to come back to The Coliseum now that we are off sanctions, oh wait, they still did. And now that Corso, Herbstreit and Howard have slobbed bear knob, I can’t wait to watch them eat crow and jump back on the bandwagon. FTFO!





  4. Sandi

    Let’s get this party started! Fight on! Beat the Bulldogs! ✌️

  5. HardcoreTroojFan

    I think Sark will spend the rest of his career at USC.

    All hail Pat Haden!


  6. Helen Of Troy

    Sooooo Happy to see you back!

    Fight On!

  7. FireSark

    Sark is a crap coach and a total fraud. UW was a 5 win team when he inherited it and didn’t improve much under his watch. It only improved because the AD got a blank check to replace more than half the staff. Tosh and Wilcox saved Sark’s job in 2012. USC will fire him in 3 years. Sark will struggle to win more than 8 games this year even with the easiest conference schedule.

    • admin

      they were actually an 0-12 team. you sound like his ex. worry about the ducks.

      • FireSark

        That 0-12 team was playing for a lameduck coach, played the #1 SOS, and had its 4 best players go down to injury. Starting in 2009 it was healthy and had 10+ guys who would eventually play in the NFL. So Sark did not take a 0 win team to 7 wins. He took what was a 4 or 5 win team to 7 wins and would have been fired in 2012 if not for UW getting a blank check to hire a highly sought after DC and the top recruiter on the west coast. His offense in 2012 was one of the worst in the conference.

        Furthermore, last year UW’s offense had the best TE in the nation, the best RB in the nation, a deep and experienced OL, the 2nd best rated passer in the conference, yet was around 25th nationally in most stats. The guy is a shit OC. A top notch OC would have turned that group into a top 10 offense.

        And as far as recruiting, UW under poor coaches like Gilbertson and Willingham still had top 25 classes.

        • admin

          super politely saying “lameduck” or #SOS screams excuses. every team has injuries. just admit you liked him. or explain why the hell you care so much.

          you got petersen. be super happy. im sorry for some reason it bothers you sark didn’t call the morning after. by all accounts, you didn’t think he was good. he doth protest to much? is this love, is this love, is this love that you’re feeling?

          and factually, that was a winless team the year before he got there. maybe not emotionally winless through your eyes, but you know, just in that “how many games they won and how many games they lost” sort of way. in fairness to you, that’s the kind of stat a UW fan trolling a USC blog ignores, amirite?

          i can play that game too. in my mind we have never lost a game and are taking a 3000 game winning streak into this season. hope sark doesn’t blow that fictional lead like he blew your fictional “4 or 5 win team.”

          i hope when he leaves USC he doesn’t break my heart like he broke yours. oh wait. he did. and somehow i survived.

          • Cfetters

            Show me any NCAA team with 10 players on NFL rosters that won less than 4 games at any point n the last 50 years.

            Say it out loud.

            The 2008 Huskies had 10 players to make it to the NFL.

            Does that scream 0-12 to you?

            The cupboard was not bare for Sark.

          • admin

            Whatever they were they won zero games before he arrived.

    • Balston

      Well this was spot on.

  8. PatHadenFan

    I am trying to decide what I love most about the Sark hire.

    His 0-5 with 5 blowouts to Oregon gets me excited. Imagine if we did that with UCLA or ND?

    His 3-25 record when trailing at halftime speaks volumes about his ability to make adjustments and coach on the fly.

    His 21-23 record against the Pac-10 (the two Pac-12 teams are a joke) really makes me think he can take this conference by storm.

    His average of finishing in fifth place in the conference, with his best being a tie for 3rd — really gets my juices flowing.

    His 3 straight blowout losses every single season make me want to just scream FIGHT ON!

    His offense never finishing better than 4th in conference scoring really reinforces his ‘offensive genius’ nickname that Herbstreit gave him.

    His hiring when UW donors were circling like sharks to buy out his contact and fire him was a great humanitarian move by Lord Haden. L.A. needs more overpaid, overweight, alcoholic, women-chasing Armenians with the work ethic of a blueberry scone.

    Fight on!

    • admin

      guys. it’s easy enough to tell you are jilted huskies from mainly because you are posting the same shit there that you post here. the bottom line is i was fairly impressed he was able to lift UW from 0-12 to making bowl games with inferior talent in a worse recruiting situation. if you didn’t like him, don’t worry about it. I’m not thinking much about kiff. But for real, keep calling Sark and hanging up late at night.

      • Mark

        0-12 with inferior talent? Sark inherited a roster with at least 10 guys who either made NFL rosters or got a look in the NFL. The talent level wasn’t great but it also wasn’t inferior.

        And reading the comments from UW fans tells me we’re not jilted over his departure, we’re elated. This is similar when UW hired Gilby and the fans of the football powerhouse known as Cal tried warning us, we mocked them.

        Sark might be a Pete Carroll guy but I have 2 counter-points. #1, so was Kiffen. #2, being a Pete Carroll guy does not make him Pete Carroll.

        • admin

          Kiffin won 10 games twice. During sanctions. Also, I’m not on Bama blogs tripping out. He was not great, but he won games. I’m over it. Not gonna be a tweaker like the UT fans were or like you guys are today which is surprising.

          Also, I don’t think we think he is Pete. He just was who Pete picked as his successor. That’s all.

          Also, whatever he inherited, it won zero games prior to his arrival. Please, MOAR!

    • admin

      to be more blunt, i’d have a hard time beating anyone recruiting out of Seattle. Petersen is a way better fit. He can cook with whatever he has in his fridge.

  9. Bear Wrestler

    Question: When a bourbon bear comes out of hibernation, what does his breath smell like? Mine ‘s really bad but that’s only after eight hours.
    What’s your brand?
    7C here.

  10. HappyBruin

    You guys are delusional. Sarks had 5 years in the league and went .500 or less, he’s just not good but by all means keep him around, looking forward to Jm Mora dominating L.A. As long as Sark is there.

  11. Scott

    I don’t really understand the Husky fans trolling on these sites. If they hate him and are happy he’s gone, fine…but you don’t see me on UW sites wondering out loud about Chris Petersen recruiting at a school that has admission standards that don’t simply consist of checking a pulse.


  12. Pingback: #ArrogantNation | GIVE ME MORA

  13. Harbaugh Owns You

    What’s unfortunate for USC is that although they are off sanctions, they aren’t coming back to the old Pac-10. Rather, a far better recruited, coached and prominent conference. The fact that you think that you can march right back into the picture is ignorant. The West Coast belongs to Oregon and Stanford, and neither of those programs are going anywhere. USC has the best recruiting pipeline in the country that any good coach should be able to build a dynasty there. Instead, USC has become complacent in being the “VICTIM” instead of playing with a chip on their shoulder like in the beginning of the century. Take some notes from Stanford, who has build a football powerhouse in 5 years without even recruiting below a 3.7. Here’s a piece of advice to all of you: Go out and build that dynasty…don’t wait for it to fall into your lap.

    • admin

      I think we took some points from Stanford when we beat them last year. We went 35-17 during sanctions with 30 less players. We’re fine. Stop worrying about us. If you aren’t worried, you wouldn’t be here.

    • Buddy

      Re: Harbough Owns You—-thats weird, i thought Harbough was in the NFL.
      And does that so called ‘powerhouse’ that was built in 5 years include any National Championships?? Ya, didnt think so. Powehouse in the standard format would mean over 20, 50, even 100 yrs. Keep thinking that handful of good seasons will keep rolling… won’t Stop kidding yourself and see the (real) big picture.

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