Truly, Some New Hate Mail

I admit, I thought I’d get more after my Coach O post, but for the most part people complained off my channels. It was meant to be brutal and that’s what I’ve always done here, with satire or with a harsh opinion. Either way, there was enough ad traffic in the first couple hours to buy me pretty much any bottle of bourbon I feel like drinking this weekend in Los Angeles, so thanks regardless of how you felt.

But I got a comment from someone who isn’t used to how it works around here, so let’s have a little fun.

This comes from someone who’s email mentions Arizona two times, in case people forgot he was repping AZ midway through addressing and email to him.

As always, here’s the comment:

Dear author:

Do you always use this many words to say so little? I’m very sorry I stumbled across this blog… the viewpoint isn’t wrong, it’s just completely uninformative/juvenile. Truly, my 8-year old could have written with more insight.

Thankfully, Alexa rankings suggest that not too many people are wasting there time here…that’s a relief.

Sorry I stumbled across this site…won’t return. Meanwhile, can I please have the last 5 minutes of my life back?

And then here’s the same comment with my annotations in bold:

Dear author:  This isn’t a book. It’s a blog post. I figured you’d get that when you used a device you plug into an electrical socket to find this post. Assuming you don’t plug your books into the wall. I’m a blogger. If I was an author, I’d be poor.

Do you always use this many words to say so little?  No.  I’m very sorry I stumbled across this blog… Me too, buddy.  Me too.  the viewpoint isn’t wrong, it’s just completely uninformative/juvenile. If it is uninformative, how can you know if it’s right or wrong? Also, in 2nd grade we covered that opinions could not be right or wrong. They are opinions. Juvenile would be bringing up that a child could write with more insight.  Truly, my 8-year old could have written with more insight. Truly, that was juvenile. Also, starting a sentence with ‘truly’ is a dumb way to try to sound smart. Readers at home, put ‘truly’ in front of you next ten sentences and see if you are starting to hate yourself. Truly, I believe you will.

Thankfully, Alexa rankings suggest that not too many people are wasting there time here…that’s a relief. Truly, without explaining to you that Alexa data comes from traffic patterns of the 15-20 million people that have downloaded and installed the Alexa toolbar to their browser (a large percentage of said downloads have since become inactive) and is about as accurate as pissing off a moving speedboat, I’m fine with you feeling relieved about the views you think I am not getting. What would I know? I’m just an interactive strategist. 

Sorry I stumbled across this site… Truly, I am sorry as well. won’t return. Truly, I hope you mean it. Meanwhile, can I please have the last 5 minutes of my life back? Truly, you know that time travel doesn’t exist, so no, you may not have your five minutes back. Truly, you must have realized that taking the time to comment added at least a minute of time to the time you stole from your own life, you thief! Truly, I hope you find those six minutes. Truly, I hope when you do, you are happy. Truly.


Filed under Hate Mail

14 Responses to Truly, Some New Hate Mail

  1. Karan

    Keep doing what you do bearfighter. You are now the alumnus in charge of all things football.

  2. Kelli

    Truly, I’m laughing my ass off!

  3. Phil

    Truly, thanks for the earworm. (Truly in loooove with yeeeeeeeeewwwwwww…)

  4. HeliGeorge

    It would be so very easy to ignore the message of this post and the original post from where it came and use the T word.

    But I truly cannot…. Doh!

  5. LBprGuy

    Truly, one of our worst coaches ever is one of Arizona’s all-time winningest coaches (Larry Smith). Go figure.

  6. Janice

    I am not amused, but LOL that people actually write hate mail like that and feel good about it.

  7. Greg Bert

    Zach- I truly look forward to your Lost Angeles posts! Truly, keep up the good work. I truly mean that.

    FTFO Always!


    Greg Bert Class of 1980

  8. Katie

    My favorite is that you don’t take the time to correct his use of “there” vs. “their” … Kudos to you for staying above the pedantic line. But I’ll sink below it. Jerk couldn’t use the correct “their”!?

  9. Truly, you gained a reader because of your last post. When I retweeted your last post and re-posted on Facebook, I started to understand what it must be like to get the crazy responses you are used to getting; I got insulting replies, just for reposting and retweeting your awesome blog. You are thoughtful without being emotional; I was surprised (although I shouldn’t have been) to see how many over-emotional people are out there when it comes to USC football. The fact that we can be critical out of our love for the program is evidence of our passion for the program, then our friends get all in an emotional (and insulting) frenzy!

    Fight On!

    P.S. Thank you for the Auburn reference, that really pissed my SEC friends off!

    • admin

      That’s what I’m here for. I’ve been loved and hated from everyone from the AD to the Daily Trojan to students (never the Song Girls) and back since sanctions started, but I’ve gotten to host two pep rallies at Galen, made a lot of friends both on and off the field and in the end, I love it every time someone steps up to the plate. The hard part is picking which to respond to, because some wouldn’t be nice to do.

  10. J.R.S.

    A truly inspirational post. #FTFO

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