Sack Up Cards Fans, Boston Just Owned You.

You are going to call this sour grapes because I am about as hardcore of a Dodger fan as there is.  Sour grapes because the Dodgers lost to the Cards so naturally I must be grasping for straws.  I’m not.  I’m sad we lost, but I am quite content with the rapid stocking of our farm system, the signing of Alex Guerrero and the possibility of pairing Tanaka with Kershaw, Greinke, Ryu for years to come. I fully accept the Cards winning, they deserved it and while I am upset about it, I am trying hard to make you understand that what I am about to write is for your own good.

Boston fans are myopic and assume the world cares about Boston sport more than the world does. St. Louis fans feel like they are the gatekeepers of some ancient form of old timey baseball code, the knights templar of the only reasonable activity in St. Louis beyond getting drunk and eating toasted ravioli until you pass out.

So when these two fan bases got together for a wildly entertaining, poorly played at times, roller coaster of a series that got pretty good ratings, you knew there’d be some love fest about, well, the old timey nature of this series.

And then the Red Sox put out this ad in a St. Louis newspaper:

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I’ve seen this popping up via social from Cards fans predictably calling this a classy move. I need to educate you that this is in no way a classy move. This is a giant FUCK YOU, SCOREBOARD disguised in very east coast faux-humble hat tip that the Red Sox organization is correctly betting the St. Louis Knights Templar of Old Timey Conduct will let sail over their head.

The big wigs even signed it.

This is a man sleeping with your wife and then telling you “don’t worry, she told me she appreciates the sex you guys used to have.”

This is referring to your “midwestern” hospitality the way racist ass explorers used to chronicle friendly, inferior civilizations they ran across.

St. Louis, they are drinking your milkshake and you and thanking them.

I get it if a Red Sox fan has this conversation at a bar with a Cardinals fan and there’s an exchange of handshakes and a round of bourbon. I get how that is old timey. I’m not saying as fans you need to be dicks and shove olive branches back up the offerers ass (but we’d do that in Los Angeles).  I’m saying you should take a note from the outfield bleacher fans at Wrigley and throw this gentle FUCK YOU ad back into the outfield grass.

Like I said, I fully appreciate the Cards and their NLCS win. I was impressed with Wacha to no end. We definitely lost and there’s no ifs, ands or buts about it.  Sure, I’m consoling myself with our 6 billion (it looks better like this: 6,000,000,000) TV deal, league leading home and road attendance and already-established pre-season odds to win the World Series (bound to happen sometime). I’m doing what I can to get ready for next year.

What I am not doing is letting the Cards put a full-page ad in the LA Times that psychologically states “we had fun playing with you before we ate you.”

In fact, there’s a lesson to be learned from the Dodgers about old timey baseball, frankly the current Dodgers could learn from this to. When the Dodgers lost, it was ten seconds before our drunk ass bum mascot was in an ad saying WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR.

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And 1952 wasn’t our year either.  Old Timey is never saying die and it’s definitely saying that after the handshakes are done, we go back to our training camps and get ready to win it next year.

Really, St. Louis? You like this giant FUCK YOU in your newspaper from 3 rich guys that just took the thing you wanted most? Really? How much InBevweiser are you drinking?

Cards fans, I respect that you know the game. A part of me dies when our crowd does the wave at Chavez Ravine. I hate when people cheer at fly balls without looking to see the outfielder’s clear reaction that this is a routine pop up. I hate the DH. Look, I totally appreciate what the Cardinal Way is.

There was a Dodger Way too and Kasten is trying to get back there, home grown talent, best scouting in the league. Hell, you got a Dodger’s number retired in your stadium and that happened because we integrated baseball. We invented the box score. We invented night games. We invented most of the international scouting practices that exist (Dominican and Japan). We altered our uniforms (the red numbers) for visibility on black and white television.

We know  thing or two about Old Timey, but we know a thing or two about adapting to the future.  At no time is this Red Sox humble brag acceptable.  Your grandpa, who was old timey as fuck, would never have stood for this and he probably killed Nazis.

I don’t have a dog in the fight. My dog is cashing checks and buying more talent for the farm and for the field and we’ll line ‘em back up and see who falls next season.

But humble advice from a fan of a team with it’s own legacy of WS titles, ROYs, Cy Youngs and pennants… The first step towards “wait til next year” is calling Boston’s bluff. If this was reversed, they’d have burnt every copy of the paper in Boston and possibly tore down the arch.

Don’t let the sugar coating fool your tastebuds. This was tasteless.

And since they rubbed your nose in it, how did it smell?

St. Louis fans that agree with me (and I know you are out there), let me know in the comments so I can stand proud with my national league brothers, even if I will spend the next five months dreaming of beating you.

Don’t let Boston win off the field too. They called you quaint. They hid it behind a picture of kids. They pointed out the Midwest (and news flash, when people from the East do that, it’s like calling you “salt of the earth”). They put Stan the Man in the same sentence as Dustin fucking Pedroia. They thanked you for helping them win. They said they hope to see you in October again and that’s because lately, they beat you in October. They love you because you got picked off at first base and because like Kershaw, Wacha became human.

Politely, fuck those guys. You’re better than that. And I hate saying that to you because I hate you, but I hate you for being good which is why I am never going to thank you, but I am never going to argue your greatness. Except when you let Boston take a dump on your fans. Just because they dressed this turd up for Halloween, doesn’t change what it was.

Up to you guys. Have a short winter. See you on the diamond.

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23 Comments

Filed under Dodgers

23 Responses to Sack Up Cards Fans, Boston Just Owned You.

  1. John B.

    Cardinal fan — so much so that I had to unfollow your homer-ass BS on Twitter during the NLCS even though I WENT TO USC and think you are the shit — who totally agrees with you. I saw that ad and went “thanks, assholes.” I don’t see it as anything other than “haha F you.”

    But whatever. 2011 just happened. We’ll get over it.

  2. Jim G

    And that’s why I love Boston… It wasn’t enough to wreck STL in the series, they had to teabag them after with that ad. Loving it…

  3. Chris C

    At least they left out the Boston Strong motto. How much did they milk that? Sure it was tragic and a national story 9 months ago, I know it’s not PC, but three people died!

    Maybe STL’s front office can congratulate them on “most improved” from last year.

  4. Vince

    You probably didn’t realize that the Chicago Blackhawks did this after the Stanley Cup. So this isn’t a “Boston thing.”

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the Blackhawks weren’t the first to do it either. I also wouldn’t be surprised is Magic does the exact same thing whenever your “next year” comes.

    And to Chris C, I’m sorry 3 people getting killed and hundreds of others wounded doesn’t qualify in your book as a reason for a city to band together in the face of adversity. I’m glad I don’t know what it’s like to be cold-blooded.

    • admin

      I’m staying out of the Boston Strong thing. But I promise we wouldn’t take out an ad anywhere to thank the other team. When Magic owned the same portion of the Lakers, we never thanked Boston. Or Orlando. Or anyone.

      It was just cheeseball. It was cheeseball when Chicago did it. The only thing douchier than the ad was the Cardinals eating it.

  5. Vince

    And not to mention, 4 people got killed. I’m sure that doesn’t change anything for you though.

    • admin

      On the Boston Strong thing, I am all for a rally cry for a city, sports are good for it. But the Yankees lost in 2001 and I am guessing Sox fans weren’t rooting for them, even thought they felt awful about 9/11.

      There’s certainly a connection between a city, a tragedy and the team as output for those emotions and that is great. But everyone in St. Louis felt awful about the Marathon terrorist act and still wanted to sweep Boston. It’s sports.

  6. Vince

    Oh no, I’m with you there. I’m not at all saying you shouldn’t want your team to win, when facing a team who’s city just went through a tradegy. You always root for your team – never against them.

    What I am saying, is that to say Boston was/is “milking it” is distasteful and ignorant.

    • admin

      I agree, Boston can grieve as it pleases. We all keep those events in our memory and are hoping for a great marathon this year. And I hope we beat boston every time we play them haha.

  7. Vince

    I blame my iphone for the typos:

    whose*
    tragedy*

  8. Oh, I’m so glad I checked in here between Bachelor(ette) seasons. Hardcore third-generation Cardinal fan (living in Dodger/Angel country), admittedly pretty invested in doing my part to maintain the image of Cards fans as nice people, REALLY EFFING SICK of seeing my comrades posting this stupid ad on FB with their “classy move” comments. Yeah, where “classy” means “patronizing at best and taunting baseball’s equivalent of the Amish at worst.” Shut up and put ads in your own newspaper, beardboys.

    • admin

      mad love to you Cardinal Fan. you guys may be knights templar of some shit I don’t care about, but even those sensibilities don’t include being grateful for this. Good luck next season, you gotta be excited about another offseason for Wacha to improve. He’s a great one.

    • Vince

      Why are you people so angry? I am as die hard a Boston fan as they come. When the Blackhawks beat us and took out a similar ad, I didn’t get angry. I actually thought it was a nice gesture. Neither one of these ads are putting the other cities down, insulting anybody, or a cheap shot. It shows good sportsmanship and an appreciation for the game. It’s the exact same thing as two hockey teams shaking hands at the end of a playoff series. In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with it and it’s what is missing in sports today.

      Maybe you guys need to be hugged or something. Stop being so angry.

      • admin

        eh, no. i don’t care either way. but players shaking hands is players. this is owners taking out an ad that is only self serving.

  9. Pingback: The top 10 Rick Ankiel tweets of 2013….so far | A Blog of Their Own

  10. Very glad that A Blog of Their Own sent this to me. I too am a Cardinals fan and thought the ad was self-serving bullshit that the Sawx did just to get attention — and, obviously, mission accomplished. Over and over and over again, so thanks for the refreshing perspective.

    I knew about the Blackhawks ad after the Stanley Cup championship but that seems different to me. Maybe it was just timing — it was not that long after the Boston Marathon so it seemed more genuine and less cynical, not a written head-pat while actually flipping us off. Or maybe I just feel that way because if I actually followed hockey more, I’d probably be a Blackhawks fan based on geography since they’re the team I hear the most (and thus know the most) about.

    • admin

      I agree, that was right after the bombing and was tied to the city’s heart, plus that team was playing Boston Strong literally in the moment. This was a Red Sox ad.

  11. Comradde PhysioProffe

    Yankee fan here, and yeah, fucke those Red Socke assholes and their smarmy gesture.

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