Gave strong consideration to simply posting “Colorado blows” and then hitting post and saving my juice for Arizona, my home away from home. Instead, I am going to stream of consciousness.
First of all, Chip Kelly tried to have me killed. I have been sick for over a week and the only type of sick that’s ever kept me in battle for over a week was cancer. It was weapons grade Duck Flu and don’t think I won’t see it coming next time. I was in Urgent Care at 9 am on gameday demanding high fructose antibiotic serum injected into my forehead regardless of symptoms. Luckily, the doctor on call went to USC (no joke) and gave me a cocktail of meds that would render me able to get to the game, but I would lose all appearances as a human. Fair trade.
Look, you haven’t lived until you see football in this state. I ran into people from high school who were giving me odd looks, later I realized this was because the sheer amount of meds I was on had me buzzing like an alarm clock. They probably thought I might raid their medicine cabinets. I was in a bad way, but it was important to attend this game in person. I’ll save that for another day (ominous Bearfighter foreshadow, non-health related, fear not).
Sadly, my battle to stay conscious on meds was the most interesting battle of the game. That is not to say it was not a hilarious, old-fashioned arrogant romp, the exact kind of thing we needed going into the meat of our schedule. As a meat eater, this is my favorite. Give me November football regardless of outcome. I want the old 96′er every weekend, I’ll finish it.
It was obvious Colorado was going to lose the minute they came out of the tunnel. They were doing some sort of jog. It was a team jog. It was like a menopausal run club jogging around a high school track in the Midwest. I’m not using hyperbole. They came out of the tunnel like they were nervous the game would go too long and they’d miss the first act of Book of Mormon. I turned to my friends and said “fear the cloud god” and then realized that was the meds talking. Then I told them “these guys are going to get destroyed”.
I was right on both counts. USC had scored three times in the first 6 minutes of the game and the cloud god really shouldn’t be fucked with.
This game was honestly kind of boring. We were never on offense because the minute we had it we scored. Everyone rooting for this type of performance every week, realize you have to watch a lot of bad offense from the other team. It’s like having to eat a truck load of broccoli just to get a bite of steak. The steak was cooked perfectly though, so I had fun. Also, meds are crazy.
Kyle Negrete running at 2pt conversion in, having it called back for being too awesome and then clanking the extended PA was super arrogant. Ever more arrogant was the fact I never considered the possibility that any points we left on the board would come back to haunt us unless points on the board can somehow die and become ghosts. That was the only way because Colorado is like the first person you hook up with after a serious breakup. Who cares what it’s like, it’s a win, it wasn’t difficult and you really won’t need to think about it again for at least a year.
Geno Smith shit the bed and Matt Barkley shit on the competition. He’s back in prime position for his NYC trip and if we win out, he’s going to get the hardware. Lots of ifs, but nothing much has changed. Looking at the BCS and our schedule and the schedule of the top ten, all USC has to do is win out and it’s almost inconceivable they wouldn’t get a shot at Alabama. That said, we play for Rose Bowls, so a win next week is the next step.
But on the subject of Barkley. 19 of 20, the one incompletion was a drop? 298 yards and 6 TDs? He also played for half a game. Sometimes I wish Kiffin would just let us score 100 points to make a point. The point that we can do it when we want to, but we just don’t. Not with the cloud god watching. We pLAy for the cloud god.
So, a record setting day for Matt and Robert Woods. Nothing is quite as arrogant as the fact that for all the hoopla about the offenses in the Pac-12, the wide open play and the existence of the Ducks, the USC touchdowns thrown record IS the Pac-12′s record.
The videos that were canned for Matt and Robert were great. The highlights for me were seeing Carson jump into frame when Matt Leinart was congratulating Barkley. I mean who doesn’t get a kick out of seeing those two together, laughing at how Matt just gets millions and does nothing and how Carson wore pads and made Leinart look tiny. In the end, Leinart still says scoreboard to Carson.
I enjoyed Keyshawn telling Robert his receptions record meant he was just a little, tiny bit better than him. Good Trojan moment reflecting our arrogance. Key would not give that up unless it was deserved, but you saw his personality. He was giving Robert his due and truthfully, Robert has done as much as anyone but Matty Trojan to bring this team back to where it is (and it’s further than you think).
The third part I loved was Matt’s face when his video ended. When I wrote the post asking him to stay, it was for moments like this. I said it then, I’ll say it again so the cloud god hears… We want Matt to hold our records and represent us no matter what bowl we go to or what happens with the Heisman. He’s everything we want to be and him smiling like an asshole (in a good way) taking in a big moment made me really happy in the big picture sense. Our guy is being written in the book. Robert too. These are the guys we want written in ink. It’s great to see it happen.
It’s also great to see how awful Colorado is. With Washington State probably becoming a goodish team over the next few, we’re going to need a perennial doormat and Colorado seems totally stoked to do so. They even bring a white doormat to put out on the fifty yard line to remind them of who they are. It’s tradition they jog passed it before every game before checking the snow report and ignoring the fact they are being ransacked like buffaloes by rifles shot from a passing train in the 1800s.
I didn’t even predict a final score for them. I was impressed they kicked two FGs. I am so glad that while we will rotate with the Oregon and Washington schools every year, we’ll always have you Ralphie. We’ll always have you. And your wonky older brother Utah, who kind of sucks too.
So here’s where the rubber meets the road. Too many people thinking about the polls. Think about wins. Nothing can keep us out of the Rose Bowl if we win out and a large part of me would be stoked about a Rose Bowl win. It’s been a few years and we got so used to Rose Bowl wins as consolation prizes for not winning it all, I was blown away seeing Oregon flip their shit for winning their first one in 100 years. Or since like, radio. Or sliced bread.
Oregon flipped out for something we have done I think like four times in a ten year period and would have done more if we didn’t play in two National Titles and an Orange Bowl. I would be thrilled to have a great Pasadena day in January.
That said, for those of you needing to watch the polls, just look to K-State. They are the only team that winning out will prevent us from going contingent on us winning out our very tough schedule. I mean, Oregon State is going to lose. K-State may not. Every week, a win. We’re rolling now.
I’m spent and not 100%. I’ll be watching the Zona game from the Four Seasons in Maui, the Bearfighter needs a break and when I return, we’ll keep it super real and talk Oregon (in more ways than one). Let’s get the win and then I promise an interesting week on this blog.
Last note, in my medicine haze I was wandering down the Row to my car and saw a kid in what appeared to be a bootleg Arrogant Nation shirt. I was initially like “who fucks with the Bearfighter” and then after consulting the cloud god I realized what a total compliment this was. I made a turn towards Adams and then hear my name shouted out. I turn, it’s that crew pumping fists and yelling “I love your shit” or something like that. Totally worthwhile. Everytime I get someone at the Coli high five me, toss me a beer, the legend grows and my heart is happy. You arrogant bastards make every word worth it.
Hell with a pen wherever that paper is.
I’M ON INSTAGRAM @LOSTANGELESBLOG – FIND ME ON GAMEDAY FOR BOURBON