The Most Arrogant Shit Ever.

USC football kicks off tomorrow.  If you are a Bruin, if you are hater, it’s a good time to leave this blog.  It’s about to rain propaganda in here.  Get your poncho, fools.  Tomorrow, the season that never was kicks off and the world will be wondering will it be a shit show, shit shower, shit storm, shit tropical storm or full blown shit hurricane.  Trojan fans need to know how to feel about life after Pete Carroll, life after sanctions, life with no hope of a bowl birth, life where we are ranked higher academically in US News & World Report than UCLA…

So I am here to re-focus the Nation of Troy on the eve of battle.  I am here to explain to you what this season is about and why you need to push for it.  You will need to write your alumni friends.  Write your senator.  Call Obama on the damn phone and let him know.  This has to be Double Rainbow times David After The Dentist.  Realize we are Darth Vader now and we are rooting for the Death Star to blow up all the other planets.  It’s ok.  Darth sold the most lunch boxes.  This season is about many things, but it is about one above all…

Lane Fucking Kiffin.

Why’d I start with a picture of his wife Layla?  Because that is all you need to know about Lane Kiffin if you are a Trojan.  He is a closer.  He will recruit (legally or illegally) the top talent because he demands that of his personal life.  Rick Neuhisel’s wife?

I mean, hey.  Good work.  No shame in that at all.  But let’s take another look at Layla Kiffin real quick.

Layla Kiffin, bro.  Throwing fastballs and ready to jump in as a song girl if any of them sprain an ankle.  Kiffin told Al Davis and Oakland to eff off.  He told Tennessee and the SEC to eff off.  He named his kid Knox after Knoxville, then peaced out, took the kids and his hot wife with him to the Southland where he is hazing our team and preparing them for danger.

All we have is 13 games to prove our point.  Is it possible we could win the AP title and let that organization tell the BCS to eff off yet again?  Yeah, it is possible, but probably not likely at all.  Let’s just be glad THEY didn’t strip either the 2003 or 2004 titles and we can keep the banners up, even with squeaky clean Pat Haden at the helm.  That said, does anyone care about giving back titles or wins?  Not me.  Does Notre Dame think they beat us now in any of those eight or so in a row they’ve lost?  No.  Sanctions suck.  Reggie Bush will always get me angry for not paying Greg Lake off like he did everyone else, but no matter.  We’re all cheaters in this sport and Reggie got USC caught for not seeing him take money from a shady “sports agency”.  That doesn’t change the purpose of this season.

This season is simply about being as arrogant as possible all the time.  It’s about making a mockery of the BCS while we have the chance.  As soon as the appeal is decided on, we’ll know when we’ll need to worry about the opinions of the computers and the pollsters again.  For now, it’s about being arrogant and ridiculous and flashy.  Haden won’t want it, but we must call for it.  It’s like knowing you are falling to your death and deciding to do awesome flips and twists instead of flailing and screaming.  Let’s go down in flames, Trojans.

We want to score triple digits.  We want to pass when we have the lead.  I’m talking trick plays constantly.  We need to be the craziest rogue outlier on the planet this year.  We need to shake things up.  Let’s make it official and be the bad boys.  Let’s just get all Kiffin on their asses.  He’s our guy.  He’s just like a Trojan.  He’s a man with a good looking wife, a lot of money and a whole world of non-Trojans hating on him.  Let’s go with that and let’s make sure the 2.3 recruits a year we are still allowed to sign are the best and brightest.  We don’t need the BCS to be a story.  We are the story if we want to be.

I want a photo shoot from Hawaii of our team partying.  I want the Trojans to be the biggest party on the west coast.  I want to do end zone dances and get fines.  The NCAA made it clear that they still pretend this isn’t pro football.  With nothing to live for, let’s just party.  Every touchdown we score is a slap in the face of the system, which sucked even when USC never lost games.  I think it’s going to be the most fun season ever.

Here’s the t-shirt I am going to print and wear to your tailgate…

If you have a tailgate you want Lost Angeles at, email me at lostangelesblog (at) gmail.com

UPDATE

We just got the pre-order site up.

Order one here at LANE FUCKING KIFFIN!

64 Comments

Filed under Rants and Musings

64 Responses to The Most Arrogant Shit Ever.

  1. I don’t have a tailgate but I’ll be at @USCPsycho. You can be my guest!

    Fight the f*ck on!

  2. Fight on USC 79

    The the fuck on!!!!! Get to it Trojans

  3. Pingback: The Most Arrogant Shit Ever. (via Lost Angeles) « Gridiron Goddess

  4. Greg Katz

    Trojans will kick butt, but will play smart, aggressive and fun Trojan football. They will not be called for unsportsmanlike conduct due to excessive celebration. They will leave that for the sidelines, locker room and the after game celebrations. No more grand standing on the field. No more jumping up and down on a 4 yard tackle as if you just stopped a 1st and goal on the 2. This team must play smarter than the opponents, and be focused, sincere, monsters in the trenches and completely overpower the opponent. Score points, and score them big time! Period!

    There will be time for jumping up and down in the end zone after the awesome win over UCLA.

    Fight On brothers and sisters.
    Shaka brah!

    • NB

      “It’s about making a mockery of the BCS while we have the chance. ”

      I love this blog. Absolutely hysterical.

      Lost me with this quote, though. SC has long enjoyed the fruits of the BCS. Now, when it’s time to pay the piper, BCS is a mockery?
      Ummmm, yeah, It’s time to swallow the humble pie. Violations were committed… but, of course, if it’s SC, there can be no wrong.

      I didn’t go to UCLA or ND. I don’t have any have any opinion against SC. I love going to their games. I simply look at this deal objectively. The team broke rules. Accept responsibility for the wrong doing.
      Don’t accuse other schools for “doing the same thing” w/o proof. Stay humble and simply say, “we’ll prove it on the field.”

      • Zack

        I said it to say we have the right to hate the bcd because we’ve been to a bowl. Diiferent than say a mid major team hating. There’s plenty of proof everyone is exhibiting lack of institutional control. The bcs is garbage by nature. We are paying the penalty, just don’t think it matters or should hold who we are paying it to in reverence.

  5. Patti

    Love it. Happy Game Day!

    PS – Where’s the ‘Manny Exit’ post?

  6. Sarah

    Dude. You just got me fired up. Thank you.

    I’m serving in Afghanistan, surrounded by NATO soldiers who call soccer ‘football’ and wax poetic about cricket. Sigh.

    No idea if I’ll get to watch the game, but I’m stoked simply knowing that Trojan football – REAL football – is on. Fight on!

  7. Gabriel

    Sweet T-Shirt!!! I want one! Tell me where to send the money and I’ll take 2 large ones please!

    Fight on and win forever!!!

  8. Andrew

    you can honestly make a killing if you make those shirts. email me and ill buy 10 in a fucking heat beat. Fight on!

  9. I read this two hours ago and I’m still laughing. Amazing. While I’m not a fan of Kiffin- I’m just letting it be. This. Is. Amazing. Fight on Dark Side

  10. ian

    the back of your new shirt should say ” I’m a Fucking Idiot”. To bring a coaches family into a discussion about college football is borderline weird in a stalking psycho kind of way. Being arrogant brings ignorance.

  11. Paddy

    I shed a tear reading this. Layla Kiffin…POW! We should run up the score just because we can. Fight on!

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  13. Kristen

    I fucking love you. That is all.

  14. R

    Fucking Inspirational

  15. This piece got me fired up – let’s go get ‘em Trojans! Fight On!!!!

    I read another post recently about Layla Kiffin vs. Sarah Harbaugh (Stanford’s coach, Jim Harbaugh’s wife) – what’s your take on that match-up?

    Who’s the first lady of the Pac-10? My vote, Layla Kiffin (until Lane gets fired!).

  16. This is what it means to be a Trojan. At USC we’re not snobs we are just better than you… FIGHT THE F” ON!

  17. Brian Kahrs

    Good shit! Where’s the wallpapers, buddy icons, screensavers, and iPhone app so your friends can take pictures next to Kiff and his wife and a bloody bruin helmet?

  18. matt

    I didn’t know Spencer Pratt had a USC Football blog

  19. Betsy

    FIGHT ON GO TROJANS

  20. TrojanLIFER

    Fight the fuck on.

  21. Elmo

    Oops, like Trojan Shit is most likely to do, since there seems to be no thought of academics at your school, your words are just a little bit out of order. It should say, Fuck Lane Kiffin, Bro. You will find out I am right in about 2-3 years.
    Go Vols – fuck Lane Kiffin, and his little dog Toto, too.

  22. Danny McBride

    Nice Eastbound and Down impression. Still, I suppose it works.

  23. Pingback: Arrogant USC Game Recap: Hawaii « Lost Angeles

  24. JAC

    Is this a joke, a parody of a USC “fan”?

    If not: That’s what you’ve got? “This season is as about being as arrogant as possible, all the time”? Who raised you? You sound like a Miami fool.

    Go USC, because our coach has a beautiful wife? He “closes”? His wife’s looks aren’t going to help the team’s win-loss record.

    Kiffin’s head coaching record is, uh, not too promising. His record of avoiding NCAA problems is even worse. The former players I’ve talked to don’t think he’s any good (as opposed to Sarkisian).

    I have a USC degree, and you’re embarrassing both me and yourself. USC needs to follow Pat Haden’s lead: keep heads down and mouths shut till the program has its act together.

    And with the roster emptying out due to sanctions, the next 6 years are going to be pretty ugly, so mouthing off on the internet = not smart.

    And by 2020, USC’s 8 year streak against Notre Dame is going to look stupid for two reasons:
    1. It’s already sanctions-tainted, and
    2. It’ll be sandwiched between Notre Dame’s 14 year streak (13 wins/1 tie) and a new Notre Dame streak of several in a row, possibly starting this year (if UH can hang 588 yards and 31 first downs, ND might well do the same).

    Support the program, support the players, but Kiffin’s an ass who loses and you come across as his fan-boy.

    • Zack

      I call upon the Trojan Family to make this man admit he went to UCLA (or Notre Dame given the ending of this). I actually did go to USC and I want to celebrate the ridiculousness of sanctions and the glory of Lane Kiffin and his super hot wife. Scoreboard.

      • JAC

        Not necessary: I am a Los Angeles native, have a USC graduate degree, and did go to Notre Dame as an undergrad!
        My dream game is USC v. ND, #1 v. #2, for all the marbles. And now Bush’s b.s. and Kiffin’s act is f$%&ing it all up.

        • Zack

          I mean all you had to say is you went to Notre Dame undergrad and then CHOSE to go to USC after that. The only thing that could get me to Notre Dame would be a kidnapping. Your dream will sadly have to wait though for two reasons:

          USC is sanctioned. Notre Dame is bad at football.

    • AustinTrojan

      Hey JAC – the sanctions don’t “taint” shit. The players on the Trojans team that pummeled your Irish were straight ballers. They weren’t taking performance enhancing drugs or pressuring your weak DBs to throw the game because of gambling problems – ONE person was violating some NCAA “rules” that were pretty stupid to begin with. You can hate the player but you can’t hate that game. There is no asterisk there. Get off this board.

  25. Spaulding

    Lane’s wife pretty much allows SC to start each game 14-0, but after watching the Trojans in Hawaii it’s more like 16-0.

  26. Pingback: Lane Fucking Kiffin, Bro | Trojan Tailgate

  27. LAGrimes

    Please make that Tee with lane kiffin on the front and “you can’t sanction the endzone” on the back!! The city will rock this arrogant shit!!

    FIGHT ON… LESSS GO!

  28. Pingback: Fight On USC Fight On! | Inspiration Necessary

  29. Jay

    Love the blog. Late to the party, but, what the heck.

    Just wondering, esteemed BFA in writing from the University of Southern California School of Cinema-Television, what in the world is a “bowl birth?”

    Is that like afterbirth? Or a clever play on words? Or just cruel irony, given it’s serial relationship with the US News citation?

    • Zack

      Two things.

      The first, you are right, it’s berth.

      The second, who the fuck spell checks in film school? If I wanted to spell check I’d have gone to Annenberg with the hot girls. Instead I learned to be hell with a pen.

  30. Pingback: It’s Clear I Am the Most Shameless Self Promoter. | Lost Angeles

  31. YoshiSC

    …and now the first true Arrogant Nation post. Thank you for making my afternoon!

    • . . . and how do you feel about that CUNT today? What a piece of shit Lane Kiffin turned out to be, your shirt should be changed.

      LANE FUCKING KIFFIN = PIECE OF SHIT ASSHOLE

  32. Ironic

    How’s Lane Kiffin doing for the whiny kids school?

  33. Alex mars

    Ahhahaha you idiot

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